Homemade Tortillas!

If you have never had homemade tortillas, you need to change that the next time you are making anything tex mex. The first time I experienced homemade tortillas was while dating a guy with Mexican roots and his mom let me help participate in the process. Once you've tasted well-made tortillas from scratch it's very hard to go back to the ones you buy in the grocery store that have a shelf life of months from your purchase date.

I have made tortillas about 10 times now since being introduced to the idea, and have been trying every time to improve over the time before. I believe I finally found a site that highlights a lot of the things I was missing in previous cooking episodes.

This is the link I used, as well as watching the video as an aid.

http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2011/03/fresh-homemade-flour-tortillas-in-no.html

Granted, there are many ways to make tortillas, but these are the type I like. Thick, chewy flour tortillas.

The recipe he used is what I also used (and doubled), and I have it listed below as the doubled version:

3 1/2 c. flour
1 1/2 tsp. table salt
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 c. shortening
1 c. hot water (about 105 F)

The tortilla experts seem to be able to whip these out in less time, but it took me about an hour and fifteen minutes from start to finish to complete this recipe.
This made 12 tortillas about 10" in diameter for me. I rolled them fairly thin, so this can also influence how many tortillas you get out of the batch.
Listed below are the steps that I followed that I believe make a difference in getting a good tortilla:

1. Whisk the flour, salt, and power together for even distribution.
2. Cut in the shortening, and then knead in the hot water.
3. Kneading is important! I'm not sure the physics of this, but this was a step I had skipped in the past, but kneading the mixed dough for about 3 minutes keeps the dough from being dry and flaky.
4. Cut the dough into even proportions as if cutting a pizza into slices. Roll slices into balls from this step.
5. Let the dough rest. Again, not sure why this works, but from what I've read letting the dough rest about 15 minutes after kneading and then 15 minutes after you have formed them into balls helps create a better tortilla.
6. Keep the dough covered under a clean dish towel. Keeping the dough covered prevents the dough from drying out. In the past, I had rolled out all the tortillas and laid them on the counter, but keeping the dough balls covered and only taking out one at a time and rolling it while another was cooking turned out to be a perfect rhythm.
7. Use a cast iron skillet. This way you don't need to oil the pan.
8. Put your heat setting on 2-3. I had used a heat setting of around 4-5 in the past and the tortillas heated up too quickly and created a lot of smoke and seemed to burn more quickly. The lower heat setting allowed me to cook them on each side about 1 minute. During this time, I rolled out the next tortilla to be cooked.
9. After cooking them, layer them on a plate with a towel covering the top of the pile. When you are completely done, if you are saving them for a later date, you can seal them in a plastic bag while still warm wherein the steam from the tortillas will keep the tortillas from drying out. You should be able to store them at room temperature or in the fridge for slightly longer.
10. Enjoy your feat of homemade tortillas!

BOOM shacka lacka lacka.

I've never been a serious runner. In fact I've never been much of a runner at all. Still am not. So it surprised me today at how frustrated I became after not being able to complete a run because of a knee injury.

About a year ago, after moving back home, I decided to sign up with the website myfavoriterun.com and started logging my run times. The first time I ran I completed about a 20 min. run with an 11:04 minute average. Throughout the past year I've never maintained a consistent running schedule but have used it for stress release and exercise, probably running once every 10 days - 2 weeks on average. I usually run about 2.5 or 3 miles and have cut my pace down to about a 10 minute average, so for 25 or 30 minutes.

A few weeks ago I was running and around the last mile I noticed my right knee started to bother me. I didn't think too much of it, but finished my run in more or less average speed and distance. The next time I ran I did not notice my knee bothering me at all. Two Sundays ago I went orienteering with my family and didn't even think about my knee hurting me again, since I basically had diagnosed it as an isolated incident. Well that was unfortunately not the case. Normally the orienteering routes I do take about 1-1.5 hours to complete and average about 4-8 km in distance. This particular route was an exception though and was more difficult than the routes I normally complete. Coupled by the fact that I got off my map and lost for about 20 minutes did not help anything. My total time logged in at about 2.5 hours. Not a big deal, really, except for the fact that about halfway through my knee started bothering me again. Orienteering is also hardly ever run on flat elevation, so I was running (well jogging) up and down often steep elevation changes while my knee was painfully worsening. By the time the last 45 minutes rolled around I was walking and using an impromptu hiking stick as a crutch. needless to say, I spent the rest of that day RICEing it (Resting, Ice, Compression, and Elevation). Gradually over the past 2 weeks I have been feeling it get better.

Today I decided it was healed enough to have another go. I got about 10 minutes into my run and my knee was hurting me again so much I had to stop. I was surprised when I found myself crying at the frustration and anger I felt that my body wasn't up to a simple 30 minute jog. Part of the reason I know that I hurt my knee in the first place was the fact that the shoes I was wearing were completely worn out and were in fact missing part of the rubber heel because it had worn down and eventually fallen out. The last few times I ran it had been like this. Not good. Today I finally purchased new shoes and was hoping that would solve the problem.

I think I was too optimistic. The new shoes were definitely important for better foot care, but I guess my knee is telling me that it is still too soon. I also signed up to run the turkey trot about 2 days before I went orienteering and seriously hurt it, so now I may not even be able to "trot" the turkey trot, but will be forced to walk. I feel lame and pathetic, but I also try to remember to be thankful I can even walk.

These are my new kicks:



I need to be careful to take care of my body and appreciate the fact that my body is actually working properly and telling me to take it easy because I was not doing something right. In the meantime I think I need to take up cycling.

Caramel & Chocolate Covered Apples!

CARAMEL & CHOCOLATE COVERED APPLES!



I made caramel-chocolate covered apples a few weeks ago, and since I couldn't find too much information about dipping them in chocolate (plenty of caramel-dipping advice!) I decided to post how I made these apples.


Prep time: About 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours
Total time: About 7-8 hours
I ended up making 5 large apples and 4 small apples, so those are the proportions I will use.
You will need:
1. Large, firm, pretty, apples. Good varieties are the ones that are on the tart side. I used Granny Smith.
2. Caramel. You can make your own caramel or cheat and buy a 14 oz. bag of wrapped caramels.
3. Sticks for the candy apple handle. I used popsicle sticks. Smooth chopsticks would work well too.
4. Chocolates. I used about 10 oz. of a bag of Hershey's dark chocolate chips and a few ozs. of vanilla (white) chocolate bars for drizzling.
5. Toppings! Peanuts, Butterfingers, M&M's, toffee, sprinkles, coconut, slivered almonds, crushed pretzels, oreos, etc.


To make:
1. Wash apples with hot water and scrub to help remove any wax. Dry thoroughly and put in freezer for about 20 minutes or the fridge for a few hours to get cool so the caramel coating will stick easier.
2. Remove stems and insert sticks into top centers of apples.
3. Chop toppings and place on plates for decorating.

4. Place parchment paper (supposedly doesn't stick as much as wax) on cookie sheets (enough to hold all your apples) and set aside.
5. Unwrap or make caramel.
6. Heat and melt caramel in medium sauce-pan, microwave, or double boiler. I used the microwave - I simply turned it in full power for about 30 seconds at a time, stirring in between the 30 seconds for about 2 minutes total. For 14 oz. of caramels, I gradually added about 2 Tbs. of milk to help thin the caramel. Too little, and it is hard to stir/coat. Too much, and the caramel does not go on thick enough. (I made the mistake of adding more than the recommended 2 Tbs. and the caramel became too thin - oh well!)
7. Once caramel has been heated so that it is smooth to stir, dip the apples one at a time in the bowl of caramel goodness. Tilt the bowl or use a spoon once the caramel level starts to drop.

*Photo courtesy of pwcooks.com

The above photo is only half done - make sure and coat them all the way to the top, where the stick meets the apple.
8. Place each apple on the parchment paper when you are done dipping it.

9. Once all the apples are coated and on the cookie sheets, place them in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes. Now the caramel has cooled some, so I went ahead and transferred the apples to new sheets of paper so that I would not have the caramel ring on the bottom of the apples. You could theoretically scrape this caramel off and reuse it for something else, I just lamely threw mine away.

10. Next stick these pretty apples in the fridge for many hours to cool the caramel completely. I put them in the fridge for about 3-4 hours before moving on to the next step. When I pulled mine out again, the caramel was still a little soft to the touch, but I went ahead with the next step - the chocolate!
11. Well, first line up more parchment paper and cookie sheets.
12. I melted the dark chocolate in the same way in the microwave. About 2 minutes total, in 30 second intervals, stirring in between. I did not end up adding anything to thin out the chocolate since I always seem to make my chocolate seize up when I do this. The melted chocolate chips by themselves turned out to be a perfect thickness once they were properly melted.
13. I did not dip the caramel-covered apples in the chocolate coating, but instead used a spoon to well, spoon, the melted chocolate over the apples. I then used a spatula (or rubber scraper technically) to smooth the chocolate around on the apples. This seemed to work fairly well and the toppings cover up most imperfections. If you are doing a lot of apples, I would recommend keeping the apples you are not ready to dip yet in the fridge as the caramel starts to soften again at room temperature and you do not want the chocolate to melt the caramel or it just makes a mess.
13. Toppings! I held the apples over a larger, empty plate, and took handfuls of the toppings one at a time and simply sprinkled them on top of the apples as I turned them. This worked really well! The toppings that drop on the plate you can simply reuse on the apple you are working on.

14. You can optionally melt and drizzle white chocolate on any of the apples for a really neat look too! I simply melted some white chocolate in a bowl and used a fork to drizzle the chocolate over the apples.
15. Once you are finished topping each apple - place them all on new parchment paper and cookie sheets and stick back in the fridge. Wait a few more hours until the chocolate has hardened and they are done!
15. You can also decorate the sticks by tying a piece of fall-themed ribbon around them or putting a sticker on them - or however else you could think to make them look more festive.

They are so, so delicious and your friends and family will love you for it I promise. :)

In case you're wondering, these sell 3 for 49.95 plus shipping on chocolatecoveredcompany.com.

Habitat Construction

In the midst of looking for a job, I have been trying to stay busy during the day 1) Looking for a job and 2) Staying involved in my community. Yesterday I had the opportunity to go with a friend to work at Habitat for Humanity in West Dayton.
The last time I worked at a Habitat site was in high school, and even then I probably only volunteered half a dozen times. When Gina and I pulled up to the site there were about 5-6 men sitting outside the house on a lunch break. Gina and I kinda exchanged thoughts on how this wasn't exactly what we were anticipating, but we'd give it a try anyway! Upon introducing ourselves, we learned that 1 of the men was a contracted electrician, three were from a volunteer group called 'Catch the Spirit', and 1 of the guys was a habitat employee, Keith, who has been in construction for about 20 years.
We were there in the afternoon from about 12:30-4 and I think Gina and I both had a really great time. I learned several new things about construction.
The first is what is called a 'Crow's foot' marking.
This is kind of lengthy - but it is a very imforative description of what a crow's food mark is:
A crow’s foot is a v-shaped mark that forms a vertex or V-shape. The point of the V designates the point to be marked (whether for a cutting or positioning)



In many circumstances a crow’s foot is better than a single line, because the point of the V marks where you draw a cross-line that intersects the V and divides the wood or other material. If you are simply drawing a straight line initially, you might end up with an intersecting line that is not straight. The crow's foot prevents that by dictating only a single point in which the intersecting line is meant to be drawn through.

I used a construcion 'square' which is a special type of ruler to mark the intersection of the crow's foot for where to cut the piece of wood. The raised lip that you can see in the picture is held flush against one side of the wood while you use the ruler edge to line up where you want to draw your intersecting line through the V of the crow's foot.






I also got to use a power saw to cut about 8 eight pieces of wood. One of the pieces I cut too short. Keith had told me we needed a piece that was 40 3/8". Instead I cut a piece that was 38 3/8". Thankfully Keith is used to working with unskilled laborers, and was very kind about my mistake. I was able to mostly rescue the piece as I needed another piece later that day to be cut at 37 3/8" so I only ended up wasting an inch of the 2x4 through my mistake.

Two other terms that I learned were 'light' and 'heavy' in reference to measurements. Instead of saying 12 inches and 7/16 of an inch, you can say 12 inches and 3/8 of an inch, heavy.

This simply means 12 inches and 3/8 of an inch, plus 1/16 of an inch.

Or in the case of 3/8 of an inch, light, it would be 3/8 of an inch minus 1/6 of an inch, meaning 5/16 of an inch.

By the time I finished nailing (with some assistance) some 2x4's above the stairs (they were being used to form the floor of the attic) - I was able to do a pull-up from one of the boards that I nailed in. It was a test to see if my construction skills had worked - and I passed the test, haha. Thankfully for my safety, too. :)

I always like helping out with Habitat because of the long-lasting impact you have. I like helping to provide food and clothes as well to people - but there is something unique about helping to provide a permanent structure for somebody - an escape from the elements. You know that if you come back to a building site in 50, 60, 70 years - God-willing - that house is still going to be there, and you were a part of making that happen. That is a very good feeling.

Bittersweet...No More Target

And so the end of another era has come for me. Today was my last day working at Target here in Centerville, Ohio. My first day was the mid-beginning ish of November, so more or less making my run at Target a 9-month stay. I definitely never anticipated at the beginning that I would still be here, but there are lots of studies done that reflect my sentiment. Many students moving back home, and many staying there much longer than they ever would have guessed.

My leaving Target is very bittersweet. I won't miss the corporate feel of everything I do - the constant 'go, go, go' and the feeling like I can't even stand still to have a conversation with someone lasting more than 10 seconds because I am not being productive. I understand why I feel this way - Target as a company was not created to improve their employees social lives by encouraging employees to have heartfelt conversations on company time. I understand that. But I still don't like it! I don't like feeling like every day I come into work, I am behind. We can never seem to get caught up with all the work we have to do. There were a few months earlier in this year where we were actually getting 'everything' done more-or-less by the end of the day, and it was a good feeling. But now that back-to-school selling is in full swing, it will be constant again with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, and Easter until around May again of next year.

I won't miss being on my feet for my entire shift - literally not sitting down until my breaks. That is hard work! My body definitely has adjusted since I first started - but I have never enjoyed not being able to sit down during my shift. I realize there are many, many jobs like Target - food service and retail being the two main sectors in which this type of work is very similar - minimum wage for customer service and being on your feet the whole day.

I will miss my coworkers. I have definitely said, and will continue to say, that my coworkers at Target were awesome. I loved getting to joke around with the guys in the backroom - and that is something that I will definitely miss. But this was also a hard thing for me in that I felt like I could never really and truly get to know my coworkers. I wanted to be able to sit down and really talk with them - see what was going on in their lives. What are their stories? Why are they the way they are? Who has influenced them in their lives? What are their passions? These were questions I was never able to ask because of the nature of the job - there is no down time to get into these sorts of discussions, and that was frustrating to me. I love laughing with people and joking around - but I also love really getting to know people; deep conversations. Something that is just not going to happen at a work environment like Target.

While I feel like many jobs are like this - no time for personal conversations - there are also some jobs that seem to lend themselves to this sort of conversation. Jobs where your task does not require much concentration, you are stuck in the same vicinity/talking space as someone else, and it does not interfere with your work. My last job often was like this, at the group home, when the clients would be asleep and I could get to know my coworkers.

Someone at work yesterday asked me what I would do if I could do anything. I said I would like to love people and cook food. I did that at BCS, but at BCS I also felt torn and eventually moved on because I wasn't able to really use my brain very much on the job and I like to be challenged mentally.

At any rate, the plan as of Aug. 4, 2011 is to go visit my brother, hang out a lot with my friends, go to the beach with my family, maybe go visit someone else?, then head to Tennessee for 2 weeks where I will meet up with old friends and get a feel for the area and look for work. It's been a year now since I was living down there, and as many people have mentioned to me - I need to be careful that I am not simply romanticizing my memories of TN. Everything being equal, I would choose living in Chattanooga over Dayton in a heartbeat. But one of the things I have thought about more recently is whether or not I want to live alone. I used to be dead set on the idea - no one else to be accountable to, my way of decorating, my own standard of cleanliness, etc. But I have also been thinking a lot about the benefits of having a roommate. For one, it is cheaper. For two, it means community! I am not sure if my personality is cut out for living alone. This past year has been hard for me - so many things have been so uncertain for so long in my life now that when I think about going through more uncertainty with a new job and new friends and a new life - it scares me to think about doing all that and then not having anyone to talk to about it. Here in Centerville, one of my best friends is looking for a roommate, and I know that it would be an absolute blast living with her. She and I get along great, and I feel like the community that would be present in that house just may rival the community that came out of the house I lived in after I graduated college. Now that was a year! So many great memories of music, laughter, delicious food, friends, community, Jesus, farming - I have fond, amazing memories of that first year post-grad. And when I compare that to living along, somehow it just seems so lacking.

Red and khaki - last time I'm ever wearing that combo! hahah ♥

Chattanooga and Centerville

Since I've been thinking so much about whether to stay here in the Dayton area or to move back to my much loved city of Chattanooga - I did a little research about the statistics in both of the cities.

CENTERVILLE, OH -

Racial makeup:
92.33% White, 2.94% African American, 0.13% Native American, 3.17% Asian, 0.06% Pacific Islander, 0.26% from other races, and 1.10% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 1.18% of the population.

Median household income:
$54,892

Percentage of population below the poverty line:
4.1%

Percentage of female householder with no husband present:
7.9%

CHATTANOOGA, TN -
Racial makeup:
59.71% White, 36.06% Black, 2.11% of the population were Hispanic or Latino of any race, 0.29% American Indian, 1.54% Asian, 0.11% Pacific Islander, 1.01% from other races, and 1.30% from two or more races.

Median household income:
$32,006

Percentage of population below the poverty line:
17.9%

Percentage of female householder with no husband present:
17.3%

Needless to say there are some pretty informative differences behind these numbers.

Target Rant = Farming?

I can't say I'm too surprised, but I did think I would be able to hold out a bit longer before getting this frustrated. The wear of corporate structure is really getting to me. I have been working at Target now since the second week of November, so about 10 weeks now.

It is so frustrating leaving the workplace every day thinking, "Ok what did I accomplish today?" and the consistent answer I come back with is, "I helped fuel consumerism." I mean, stores are definitely useful. To be able to have thousands of products available all located within 174,000 square feet (thank you target.com) is remarkable.

But it is such a weird feeling coming away with the ultimate goal of every step I make to "drive productivity." What does that even mean? Why do I even want to help drive productivity? So that the people making the products can leave healthier, happier lives? So that the people driving the products to the store can spend more time at home with their families? So that the 300,000 plus hourly employees that Target employs can finally save enough money to put their sons and daughters through college? OR is so that the someone, some Unknown can add an extra $100,000 to their payroll in 2012?

The system does an outstanding job of committing you to work hard and forget WHY you are working hard. Many jobs - the reason why you are working hard is obvious. Maybe you are in the bread-making business and you want to sell bread so that your family can eat from the profit and so that you can provide your community with delicious, healthy bread. Or as a teacher, ultimately you are working to better student's future lives by providing them with an invaluable education.

I work hard when I am at Target, and so do my coworkers. As one coworker said to me tonight, "What's the point? I come here, work, go home to eat and sleep, and then come back in the next day and do it all over again." What IS the point? Life is way too short to spend going to a job that you hate just to pay the bills so you can have fun for a night before pushing back into the same cycle over again.

Granted, I definitely understand that a lot of people don't have an option one way or the other. With jobs running short, and our way of life dependent upon the life cycle of the traditional working job, many many people are forced to work hourly jobs, standing on their feet all day coming home tired to a family that wants love, food, attention, warmth, and affection.

It's interesting how our society has worked so hard to gain leisure time - away from the farm and the concept of simplicity, growing our own food, and living in community as much as possible. I'll be the first one to admit I love my leisure time - I'm sitting here at 11 p.m. on a weekday typing. When I was working in CA I was in bed every night by 9 p.m. - 9:30 at tops. I valued my sleep time, and every bit of lesiure time was that much more important.

I have a feeling thought, that our society is headed towards an inevitable collapse. At some point, the corporate structure is going to break down and people are going to start working back towards the models that worked for our parents' parents' generations and before. It's already starting to happen. People are demanding to know where products come from, and how the people that were involved in bringing that product to them were treated.

It's a scary process - this reversal. It means temporarily taking people out of the line and assigning them new roles. It means relying on our neighbor - being humble and asking for help when we can't pay the bills. It means helping our brother, our sister, our enemies?! when they are in need. People that once spent their time isolated from their families in factories for 12 hours a day are going to spend their time working alongside their brothers, sister, aunts and uncles planting crops and bringing the harvest in.

Maybe I DO need to start scoping out some land afterall...

I do love creating playlists.

And now, a list of songs you should listen to because, well, good music deserves to be listened to. :)

1. Slowly Breaking Me Down - Kelsey Skaggs (a local Dayton artist that's got some definite talent)
2. Why Don't You and I - Santana
3. Wonderall - Ryan Adams (yes, shhh don't tell Oasis but it just might be better than the original)
4. Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons
5. Can't Back Down - Bad Rabbits (thanks to Jamie for introducing me to this happening group)
6. Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds to Mars (or better yet, just watch the video)
7. Something Beautiful - Needtobreathe
8. Everything's Right - Matt Wertz
9. In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer
10. Midnight Souls Still Remain - M83

Now go! Go and listen. Smile, cry, laugh, remember, but take your time and mix and match; relax and then report back. ♥

Dayton, I'm hoooooome! (for now)

If you want to catch up with what's been going on in my life since I last posted here (in August! yikes) check out: http://www.wwoofie.blogspot.com/

I am fully moved back in with my parents in my hometown, Dayton, OH. (See my previous post for why I'm back here). Life is going well. It's nice sharing time and meals with my parents again, although I do very much miss having friends and activities always surrounding me. I think it's easy to take things for granted. I remember people always saying, "College was the best time of my life!" I thought those people were crazy...I mean I was having a good time, experiencing a lot of new things, learning, playing, laughing (all the while not having to work a regular job). Now that I've been out of school for almost two years, I begin to see where that makes sense. Responsbility sets in; bills set in; your friends are all getting married and people have real jobs and aren't available to hang out every day and night sets in.

And once again I feel that I'm faced with more "life decisions" (can't somebody just make these for me? ugh!). I just got hired on at our local Target to work in the backroom on first shift doing inventory/stocking as a seasonal worker. Seasonal work there is defined as 90 days, at which time they will decide to hire/fire me. I figured as long as I'm sitting around the house looking for a job, I minds well spend some of that time making a little extra $$, especially with the holidays coming up. The only problem is being employed makes hurrying off to an interview 7 hours away a bit more difficult to manuever; not impossible, just more difficult.

After talking with my dad, I decided to go ahead and submit my resume to an organization called Catholic Charities which has an opening for a Case Coordinator in Chattanooga, link here: (http://www.cnpchatt.org/www/employment/9.1747). I'm ready to move, but I'm not. At some points, I'm so eager to get started and finally "settle in" somewhere. Put all my stuff away in drawers and arrange all my books neatly on shelves, put in a solid day of work, cook my own dinner and just relax. But then I think, what is the aim of that, the purpose? Sure I want to work at a non-profit, but is my motive really to help others or so that I can feel good about my contribution to humanity at the end of the day?

I'm scared to get too comfortable. I'm afraid I will find some job I enjoy and an apartment that's cute and a dog that's a great buddy, and I'll get cozy. I won't want to be challenged anymore. I won't want to leave.  I can just hear myself saying, "What will I do with all my stuff? I can't leave my steady job! I'll be too lonely somewhere else; too scared; too over-worked..." It's almost as if I don't do something different now, I'm going to be forever captured by the American Giant; my own re-worked version of the American Dream. Yeah, I don't want a "white-picket fence and a husband and 2.5 kids in the suburbs", but I would like my own apartment and bookshelves for all my books and maybe a dog and getting through life with somebody by my side would be nice....so isn't it the same? It's what I want, and I'm working towards that goal whether I want to admit it or not.

I guess I'm trying to say that there's nothing wrong with those ideas, but I have to be sure of my motivations. Where can I best serve God? Am I being challenged enough? Am I keeping myself open to the idea of moving somewhere - perhaps overseas - if I feel God calling me there? These are the questions I'm struggling with as I take the next steps in life....

Transitions

So lots of transition going on in my life right now. In about two weeks I'll be headed to CA to work on an organic farm for 6 weeks and after that I'm moving back to my roots, the heart of it all - Dayton, OH. In the meantime I need to pack up all of my stuff here in TN and move it North so that I won't have to pay rent while I'm gone. I am also conveniently delaying said packing by writing this blog.
I am both excited and unsure about moving. It will be good to reconnect with my parents as well as friends that I have still living in my hometown, but structurally my life will be very different than I am used to here. I had my last day of work at the job I've held for the past year here in Cleveland. My coworkers were so generous to throw me a going-away party with decorations and cupcakes and snacks, it was definitely a surprise and I truly felt like I will be missed. I know I will miss my clients and coworkers. I cried on the drive home from work on Friday - BCS has been my life for the past year! Realistically, I spend more than half my awake time there - interacting with and loving the people around me.
It's so easy to question if I'm making the "right choices" or not - quitting my job, going to CA, moving back home. The more I think about it though, the more I come to the understanding that it's not about a "right" or "wrong" decision, it's about letting God work through me in the situations I find myself in. I could go to CA and have a terrible attitude and not practice my faith or I could forget about trying to decide if I'm "supposed" to be there or not and just let the love, joy, and peace that I experience overflow in the places and people I encounter.
It's strange not knowing where I'll be after the next few months are up. I may still be kicking in with 'rents, back in Cleveland or Chattanooga, or making it on my own in a new city! In the meantime - bring on the exotic fruits and rattlesnakes (yes there will be rattlesnakes where I'm going - yikes)!!

green pepper and Capri Sun

Yum yum yum. I like eating food. Especially when it's food that's been picked about 30 minutes before you throw it into the frying pan. I've been reading Barbara Kingsolver's non-fiction book, 'Animal, Vegetable, Miracle', and one of the things she talks about is the life and death cycle of all the plants and produce we consume. I think I've thought of that before, but not really dwelled on it. It's definitely interesting though to think of your lunch as having been a living, breathing organism just shortly before you chow down. I've definitely made this connection before with animals, especially when fishing, which is probably the times I've had the freshest meat. With vegetables though too, they have to sacrifice their lives so that you can continue to live on as a being.

It's funny how your taste changes. When I was a kid, we didn't get snacks very often but I remember when I did eat a hostess cupcake or got one of those Capri Sun drinks at a softball game or something it tasted so good. Now I can't imagine combining those two items into a snack. I'll take some greens, fresh fruit, and a grain please!

My roommate has talked about how she used to have a strong dislike for the South's version of 'greens.' In the past couple weeks (with the addition of hot sauce), she has been caught happily munching on kale, collards, chard, and spinach.

I'm also really getting into cooking a lot more. When I first started working at BCS, I didn't like cooking lunch or dinner because I was afraid that if people didn't like what I made, then they would make fun of me or not like me. Yeah, admittedly guilty people-pleaser. But after about a month or so, that attitude was gone! I began to embrace cooking the meals, and volunteered to do the cooking whenever possible. I've always enjoyed cooking, but now it's even more fun since I've entered the "adventurous" side of being in the kitchen.

My mom has always been a recipe follower. I remember asking her for a macaroni salad recipe when I graduated from college, and specifically recall asking her how much tomato, green pepper, mayonnaise, and ham to put in with the noodles. She said she just usually used what she had, but I couldn't imagine not measuring out the "1/2 cup green pepper", since I thought she followed all recipes that specifically. It didn't take me long after living on my own to realize 1/2 cup or 1 cup or no pepper at all didn't make much of a difference! Now I've modified that same recipe every time I've made it, adding and subtracting ingredients depending on what I have available. Cooking with what's available is definitely a new but very useful and cost-effective concept to making food.

I'm still all about the recipes, though, and allrecipes.com has become my go-to for many occasions. I also love the creative aspect that comes though, when you don't have some of the ingredients, and are forced to ammend the list to fit your situation.

Thanks for reading and if you ever want to cook with me - let me know because I love food!!

Job pt. 2

I like my job more every day I work. People sometimes hint that it would be best to find a job with benefits, but I find I'm really enjoying what I'm doing, so the benefits seem less important the longer I stay.
We're not supposed to get attached to the clients, because they have so many people that come and go in their lives, and the closer we get to them, the harder it will be when we eventually move on. I understand that in theory, but putting that into practice is a lot easier said than done.
A few weeks ago, I was switched to permanenly being scheduled at the boys' house, which I was excited about, but also a little uncertain about. The boys' house definitely has a more laid back atmosphere, and my head isn't usually pounding by the time I get off, an occurence that happened many times when I worked at the girls' house. By nature of working at the boys' house though, it is mostly male staff, and I have sometimes encountered a less enthusiastic work ethic there. The people I work with on a consistent basis though are amazing people and I have found we work together well to get the job done and have fun with the clients along the way.
Some of my favorite parts of the job are discovering slowly how much more the clients are capable of then what I first thought. They never cease to amaze me, and I am constantly wondering what is going on in some of the clients' minds. They definitely know more than they let on, or sometimes want to let on.
I sometimes wish it was a requirement to graduate from high school to work with people with developmental disabilities. I'm not sure why, but I feel that society has created an image of this population as scary and intimidating. I know when I first started my job, I had no idea what I was getting into, and almost felt alien walking into and discovering a new environment. So many of the people I have met with disabilities are beautiful people, and it is an amazing joy getting to spend time with and support them. I am positive that if more people just tried with working with this population, they would enjoy the work, but for whatever reason society has labeled such work as only suitable for "select people." I understand that my line of work often involves a great deal of patience, which granted not everyone has, but I think patience is a wonderful quality that can be developed when put in the right atmosphere. I remember at the beginning of the summer, my friend encouraged me to look for work supporting people with developmental disabilities, and I thought, "There's no way I would be good at that. Only certain, strong people are capable of such work." When I finally applied for and began working at BCS, I found out I was completely wrong. All the clients at BCS are regular people, just looking to love and be loved during their time on this earth. You don't have to possess some sort of magical "x-factor" to be a part of that process, and you certainly shouldn't be intimidated by getting to know people that may speak a little slower than you or cope with emotional and psychological triggers in different ways than you or I might deal with.
With all that said, I encourage you to keep your mind open in all areas of life, but especially when it comes to getting to know and interact with people with developmental disabilities.

♥

artwork.

here's a preview of some work that could be in production this fall with the development of a clothing/card business my friends and I want to do.
explanations accompanying.

wedding card for my friends shannon and jon.

inside.

back. line from a poem if you click on the larger file.

happy birthday mom.

inside.

the [dark] photo is of my dad fishing at sunrise on the nc coast. the writing is by george eliot.
and yes, I know I wrote 'unspeakable' wrong.

bday card for my friend's 25th

inside.

cd cover for my friend's birthday.

polaroid of newspaper's on my clothesline. lyrics from forever young.

cd cover for my friend.

♥

jorb.

Many new developments have been swirling around in my life lately, but perhaps at the forefront of all this has been my new job! After (literally) months of searching and praying and false hopes and financial strain and new meaning, I am finally employed. My new title is ‘direct support professional’ which makes me wonder, because I definitely don’t feel like my current knowledge allows for the use of the term professional. At any rate, I will be working in both a womens’ and a mens’ home where 6 women with disabilities and 6 men with disabilities, respectively, live. I will be helping support these men and women with a variety of different things from cleaning and cooking to showering and dressing. Different people have different ranges of disabilities, and as a result, require varying degrees of support in any given task. It is our job to help them live as independently, but also with the best quality of life, as possible. I have worked a few days now, and believe that I will enjoy the work despite the long shifts and scheduling hours. It will be nice to be getting an income again, and not have to watch basically all my life savings slowly but surely disappear. This summer has definitely been a summer of trusting God to provide. He has provided through many means: the community garden, the food bank, the emergency shelter, selfless roommates, generous friends, loving and giving parents and grandparents, as well as many small but powerful gifts and stories along the way.

home alone...again.

I will be two months unemployed this Thursday. It's hard to believe I've gone this long. My budget is being stretched and I honestly thought I would have found work a lot sooner. Needless to say, an earlier blog about being unaffected by the worsening economy no longer stands true.

In it all, though, I am still learning to trust that God has something in store for me, and with faith I'm praying it's right around the corner.

I have enjoyed the time off from responsbility and long work hours but I am really ready to get at it again.

At the very least I'm maintaining a labor of love.
♥