I do love creating playlists.

And now, a list of songs you should listen to because, well, good music deserves to be listened to. :)

1. Slowly Breaking Me Down - Kelsey Skaggs (a local Dayton artist that's got some definite talent)
2. Why Don't You and I - Santana
3. Wonderall - Ryan Adams (yes, shhh don't tell Oasis but it just might be better than the original)
4. Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons
5. Can't Back Down - Bad Rabbits (thanks to Jamie for introducing me to this happening group)
6. Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds to Mars (or better yet, just watch the video)
7. Something Beautiful - Needtobreathe
8. Everything's Right - Matt Wertz
9. In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer
10. Midnight Souls Still Remain - M83

Now go! Go and listen. Smile, cry, laugh, remember, but take your time and mix and match; relax and then report back. ♥

Dayton, I'm hoooooome! (for now)

If you want to catch up with what's been going on in my life since I last posted here (in August! yikes) check out: http://www.wwoofie.blogspot.com/

I am fully moved back in with my parents in my hometown, Dayton, OH. (See my previous post for why I'm back here). Life is going well. It's nice sharing time and meals with my parents again, although I do very much miss having friends and activities always surrounding me. I think it's easy to take things for granted. I remember people always saying, "College was the best time of my life!" I thought those people were crazy...I mean I was having a good time, experiencing a lot of new things, learning, playing, laughing (all the while not having to work a regular job). Now that I've been out of school for almost two years, I begin to see where that makes sense. Responsbility sets in; bills set in; your friends are all getting married and people have real jobs and aren't available to hang out every day and night sets in.

And once again I feel that I'm faced with more "life decisions" (can't somebody just make these for me? ugh!). I just got hired on at our local Target to work in the backroom on first shift doing inventory/stocking as a seasonal worker. Seasonal work there is defined as 90 days, at which time they will decide to hire/fire me. I figured as long as I'm sitting around the house looking for a job, I minds well spend some of that time making a little extra $$, especially with the holidays coming up. The only problem is being employed makes hurrying off to an interview 7 hours away a bit more difficult to manuever; not impossible, just more difficult.

After talking with my dad, I decided to go ahead and submit my resume to an organization called Catholic Charities which has an opening for a Case Coordinator in Chattanooga, link here: (http://www.cnpchatt.org/www/employment/9.1747). I'm ready to move, but I'm not. At some points, I'm so eager to get started and finally "settle in" somewhere. Put all my stuff away in drawers and arrange all my books neatly on shelves, put in a solid day of work, cook my own dinner and just relax. But then I think, what is the aim of that, the purpose? Sure I want to work at a non-profit, but is my motive really to help others or so that I can feel good about my contribution to humanity at the end of the day?

I'm scared to get too comfortable. I'm afraid I will find some job I enjoy and an apartment that's cute and a dog that's a great buddy, and I'll get cozy. I won't want to be challenged anymore. I won't want to leave.  I can just hear myself saying, "What will I do with all my stuff? I can't leave my steady job! I'll be too lonely somewhere else; too scared; too over-worked..." It's almost as if I don't do something different now, I'm going to be forever captured by the American Giant; my own re-worked version of the American Dream. Yeah, I don't want a "white-picket fence and a husband and 2.5 kids in the suburbs", but I would like my own apartment and bookshelves for all my books and maybe a dog and getting through life with somebody by my side would be nice....so isn't it the same? It's what I want, and I'm working towards that goal whether I want to admit it or not.

I guess I'm trying to say that there's nothing wrong with those ideas, but I have to be sure of my motivations. Where can I best serve God? Am I being challenged enough? Am I keeping myself open to the idea of moving somewhere - perhaps overseas - if I feel God calling me there? These are the questions I'm struggling with as I take the next steps in life....

Transitions

So lots of transition going on in my life right now. In about two weeks I'll be headed to CA to work on an organic farm for 6 weeks and after that I'm moving back to my roots, the heart of it all - Dayton, OH. In the meantime I need to pack up all of my stuff here in TN and move it North so that I won't have to pay rent while I'm gone. I am also conveniently delaying said packing by writing this blog.
I am both excited and unsure about moving. It will be good to reconnect with my parents as well as friends that I have still living in my hometown, but structurally my life will be very different than I am used to here. I had my last day of work at the job I've held for the past year here in Cleveland. My coworkers were so generous to throw me a going-away party with decorations and cupcakes and snacks, it was definitely a surprise and I truly felt like I will be missed. I know I will miss my clients and coworkers. I cried on the drive home from work on Friday - BCS has been my life for the past year! Realistically, I spend more than half my awake time there - interacting with and loving the people around me.
It's so easy to question if I'm making the "right choices" or not - quitting my job, going to CA, moving back home. The more I think about it though, the more I come to the understanding that it's not about a "right" or "wrong" decision, it's about letting God work through me in the situations I find myself in. I could go to CA and have a terrible attitude and not practice my faith or I could forget about trying to decide if I'm "supposed" to be there or not and just let the love, joy, and peace that I experience overflow in the places and people I encounter.
It's strange not knowing where I'll be after the next few months are up. I may still be kicking in with 'rents, back in Cleveland or Chattanooga, or making it on my own in a new city! In the meantime - bring on the exotic fruits and rattlesnakes (yes there will be rattlesnakes where I'm going - yikes)!!

green pepper and Capri Sun

Yum yum yum. I like eating food. Especially when it's food that's been picked about 30 minutes before you throw it into the frying pan. I've been reading Barbara Kingsolver's non-fiction book, 'Animal, Vegetable, Miracle', and one of the things she talks about is the life and death cycle of all the plants and produce we consume. I think I've thought of that before, but not really dwelled on it. It's definitely interesting though to think of your lunch as having been a living, breathing organism just shortly before you chow down. I've definitely made this connection before with animals, especially when fishing, which is probably the times I've had the freshest meat. With vegetables though too, they have to sacrifice their lives so that you can continue to live on as a being.

It's funny how your taste changes. When I was a kid, we didn't get snacks very often but I remember when I did eat a hostess cupcake or got one of those Capri Sun drinks at a softball game or something it tasted so good. Now I can't imagine combining those two items into a snack. I'll take some greens, fresh fruit, and a grain please!

My roommate has talked about how she used to have a strong dislike for the South's version of 'greens.' In the past couple weeks (with the addition of hot sauce), she has been caught happily munching on kale, collards, chard, and spinach.

I'm also really getting into cooking a lot more. When I first started working at BCS, I didn't like cooking lunch or dinner because I was afraid that if people didn't like what I made, then they would make fun of me or not like me. Yeah, admittedly guilty people-pleaser. But after about a month or so, that attitude was gone! I began to embrace cooking the meals, and volunteered to do the cooking whenever possible. I've always enjoyed cooking, but now it's even more fun since I've entered the "adventurous" side of being in the kitchen.

My mom has always been a recipe follower. I remember asking her for a macaroni salad recipe when I graduated from college, and specifically recall asking her how much tomato, green pepper, mayonnaise, and ham to put in with the noodles. She said she just usually used what she had, but I couldn't imagine not measuring out the "1/2 cup green pepper", since I thought she followed all recipes that specifically. It didn't take me long after living on my own to realize 1/2 cup or 1 cup or no pepper at all didn't make much of a difference! Now I've modified that same recipe every time I've made it, adding and subtracting ingredients depending on what I have available. Cooking with what's available is definitely a new but very useful and cost-effective concept to making food.

I'm still all about the recipes, though, and allrecipes.com has become my go-to for many occasions. I also love the creative aspect that comes though, when you don't have some of the ingredients, and are forced to ammend the list to fit your situation.

Thanks for reading and if you ever want to cook with me - let me know because I love food!!